Battle of the Fates - By 123

I guess I just didn’t really realize it before.

I mean, I knew in some deep recess of my brain that is was possible, but the fact that it is coming up through the surface is scary.

I don’t think I’m ready.

I know I’m not ready.

What do you do when you aren’t ready for something but you want it so bad?

What?

Why do I think this?

Well.

I know you infiltrate my life and my dreams.

Everything I do is part of a plan to be with you.

If I hear even one negative thing about you, I seethe.

Don’t worry...it is an inside seething, not outside. I can control it.

I imagine you sleeping next to me, I imagine our future family. I see our dogs playing together. Does he like her? Will she attack him?

I smell you sometimes...randomly...I don’t know if it is a perfume or a lotion, but it is intoxicating.  My day stops and my life depends on that scent.

My soul screams out for you at inopportune times.

I will be doing something mundane, like making coffee, for instance. I can literally hear my soul screaming for you.

I pause...

I let it set in...

Then I tell my conscious self that you aren’t here.

My unconscious doesn’t know that and it doesn’t understand...it just aches for you. It is a body shattering scream. At times I have fallen to my knees.  My soul knows where it needs to be...my body is hesitant. It is a battle of fates.